It’s a phrase that’s used a lot by therapists, and you may wonder if it’s a credential, a philosophy or just a marketing buzzword. It’s a good question.
It’s more than just a few fidget toys on display; it’s about unlearning and challenging the social norms and lifelong beliefs that we have internalised as normal or the best way to be in the world, including traditional diagnostic frameworks. At its core, neurodivergent therapy starts from the position that your brain is not broken.
Neurodivergent-affirming therapy affirms natural differences in the way people think, feel emotions, process information, communicate, and experience the world. It rejects the medical model of Neurodivergent struggles as deficits that need fixing, or an indication that something is wrong, and instead seeks to understand each individual and support them in ways that suit your particular needs.
What it looks like before a first session
Clear, direct communication about what to expect during a phone consultation or first session, including how to find the therapy room, where to park, what facilities are available, and what the room looks like.
What it looks like in the room
- Adjusting the pace, layout of the room, and structure of the sessions based on how you process, working together to create a therapeutic approach that works for you. I strive to support your autonomy at every stage of the therapeutic process.
- Normalising stimming, movement, and not making eye contact, and yes, fidgets and creative tools are readily available as an option. Neurodivergent-affirming therapy creates a culture where you can feel comfortable advocating for what best supports you.
- Normalising cameras off in online counselling, music in the background, sharing videos and reels, using visuals and creative interventions and bringing in anchoring objects, if they help you to process your experiences and your emotions more clearly.
- Access to written session summaries, if this helps you.
- Not assuming any norms around how you process verbally; for example, you may speak quickly, interrupt, jump between topics or go off on tangents, speak in long monologues, or be predominantly non-verbal, all of which are interpreted as differences within the nuance of Neurodivergent communication and not deficits, resistance or avoidance.
- Not assuming norms around your emotional responses, being mindful that emotional language can be challenging and that some experience alexithymia, where they find it hard to identify what they are feeling.
- Not penalising lateness, recognising that neurodivergent people can struggle with time perception
- Not pathologizing forms of stimming, sensory seeking or emotional regulation as self-harm, such as Body-focused repetitive behaviours, like skin picking and hair-pulling.
- Acknowledging that there are other aspects of you which intersect with your neurodivergent identity, such as race, faith, gender, or sexuality, affecting access to support and empathy. I will invite conversation into the room that explores all aspects of you, not just your neurodivergent identity.
- Reframing Neurodivergent experiences such as justice sensitivity, rejection sensitivity and social anxiety and helping you to heal from the trauma of chronic invalidation and ableism often experienced in work, school or social systems.
- Working with you to recognise your strengths and identify struggles, supporting you to find adaptations which work with your energy levels and nervous system.
- Blending a variety of compassionate counselling approaches, in collaboration with you, and not adopting a “one-size-fits-all” approach.
- Recognising that silence can be uncomfortable for some and checking that out with you.
- Understanding that burnout is real and honouring the time and space you may need to recover.
- Feedback is welcome and invited at the end of sessions, and as we regularly review how we are working together.
- Recognising that this isn’t the end of a prescriptive list; when you’ve met one neurodivergent person, you’ve met one neurodivergent person.
What it doesn’t look like…
Neurodivergent therapy is not about framing ND traits as “super-powers,” avoiding difficult topics and glossing over real everyday struggles that those who are Neurodivergent can face. Neurodivergent-affirming therapy doesn’t require a formal diagnosis. Self-diagnosis or exploring the possibility you may be Neurodivergent are completely valid. I work with you as who you are and not what paperwork you have.
Unmasking can be experienced as liberating; however, neurodivergent therapy is not about expecting you to unmask, if that’s too vulnerable and feels unsafe for you.
Why is it important?
Without a Neurodivergent lens to view clients through, differences can be misunderstood and interpreted in ways that aren’t helpful and, at worst, harmful to Neurodivergent clients. Many neurodivergent adults have had therapy that hasn’t helped, and they have walked away feeling they were untreatable or “broken.”
What does it mean for me as an AuDHD therapist?
Although I have some understanding of Autism and ADHD through my own lived and professional experience, it means I have committed as a therapist to challenge my own internalised assumptions about what is “normal” and consider if I am unintentionally asking clients to conform to neurotypical expectations. This means constantly working on my own journey to becoming more of my true self, letting go of masks that no longer serve me, continually working within the neurodivergent paradigm of difference, not deficit, and challenging my own internalised ableism, so I can support clients on their own journey towards self-acceptance, self-compassion and becoming more of themselves.
Recommended Reading:
Make Counselling work for you- Jane L Renton
The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy – Steph Jones
Unmasking for Life- Dr Devon Price
Neurodivergent Affirming Therapy -Amy Peters
(credits go to Amy Peters, the author of "Neurodivergent-Affirming Therapy: Rethinking Approaches for Autistic and ADHD Clients," for inspiring this writing, and for her work in supporting therapists to reflect more deeply about how to create spaces that work for Neurodivergent clients).